Change

A question that consumes a considerable amount of my thinking power every now and then is what defines a person. To what extent is one responsible for his previous acts, even if he'd undergone lots of changes since the time he'd committed them. I do not only mean it in the negative sense of someone's wrong doings, when the answer to that could be seeing that he'd totally quit the wrong act for instance and start acting positively. But what about the other way around. When things start going down the curve, till when should the person's previous acts of kindness still count for instance? At which point do you decide that a person does not deserve to be treated based on his previous acts; whether good or bad? When do you stop giving them credit "for the old times' sake"? Is it fair to cut all threads at some fateful moment, no matter how hurt you got then? Or should you just keep going "for the old times' sake", even when those times have become such remote ancient history you feel disconnected from?


Some wise person tells you that “As you reflect and make decisions about your future, never forget that the you who embarks on any life change will not be the person to reap its benefits or woes when the process is complete.” This itself has been one of my major worries in two different aspects. The first one is people close to me changing, till I feel I do not know the person anymore, feeling that this close person had become a stranger now, with all the confusing feelings of which basis one should deal with that person on. The second one is myself changing. Although this is actually something I am constantly seeking, trying to change myself to the better, it brings along some challenging aspects. I had always honored one's consistency. I placed much value on one keeping his word, never changing one's mind and being all the way responsible for your previous decisions and choices. I probably considered it all an act of decency, chivalry and nobility. It took me a big deal of struggle to just realize how it was practically impossible to remain so consistent. Not only was it impossible, but it wasn't even the right thing to do in the first place. It took me so much self-struggle to convince myself it was actually okay to change your mind about things, having seen new aspects for the situation. But it is taking me much more struggle and self-questioning to let myself say "I know I was/said/did that, but I was a different person back then."